You Such a Dirty Bad Girl... Beep Beep! uh, uh!

There's an ad on Craigslist announcing Bunim-Murray Productions, creators of MTV’s The Real World is casting for the reality show that "brings seven self-proclaimed 'bad girls' together in a beautiful mansion." 

Fame and fortune, here I come!  Please accept my submission for the Bad Girls Club below:

A brief BIO telling us what makes you a “Bad Girl”

Oh man, where do I start?  Well, for starters, I can par-tay.  Nick and I were at a wedding this past weekend, and I burned up the dance floor to "the Twist" "Let's Twist Again" and "I Saw Her Standing There."  And despite the fact that my dogs were barking, I even tried to learn the Dougie (in heels!) 

Currently I am wearing black socks, even though my pants are navy blue.  I've also been known to wear white after Labor Day.  (Shut up, right?!)

I'm a librarian, but my bookshelf is arranged by binding color.

If I fart in a public place, I look around as if searching for someone else to blame.

Despite the fact that it's indisputably the most important meal of the day, occasionally I'll skip breakfast.

Attach several photos
 

My humor isn't for the weak at heart



I am clearly wearing Bling

 

Not afraid to ruin an otherwise great photo



Former saxophone player.  The flute was just too "safe" for me.



Bad-ass ride. 


In sum, I think I would make an excellent addition to The Bad Girls Club.  MTV HMU!  (That's Hit Me Up for those of you not up on your street slang.)

Yeah Baby, yeah!

These fliers are all over Southie these days. Taped on the same poles that advertise the M.O.M. Stroller Workouts. Who knew Southie was such a swingin' place?
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Dumb and Dumber

This morning after grabbing my Dunkin' Iced Coffee, I waved to our building security woman and walked up to the elevator keypad. 
For some reason the button wouldn't light up to signal the elevator was coming down to the lobby.  Only after about a minute of frustration did I realize I was trying to call the elevator by holding my building security pass in front of the button and waiting for it to light...  Amazingly, my frustration ended when I took the more conventional route of pushing it.

This is quite possibly even worse than the time my husband and I went to Lucca in the Back Bay right before Lexi was born.  After perusing the menu, I looked at Nick and said, "Well, I think I'm going to have the 10 and 22."  Confused, he asked what the hell I was talking about. 
"Isn't your menu numbered?" I asked as I pointed to the salad and pasta dishes I wanted to order.  Nick looked at me, and realizing his wife's I.Q. had dropped numerous points over the previous nine months, sadly told me, "Those are the prices!"

:Hey Limoliner, I want my money back

"Please stay seated. If someone hits us, we're going to go flying." -our LimoLiner stewardess

We are stuck in middle of 91 in front of Exit 7 sign as our driver's side luggage hatch flew open. Um, this isn't why I paid $80 for a bus ticket...
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Dear Southie Residents & Visitors,

Happy St. Patrick's Day!  It's my first one!  I am not in a place to judge, because I tend to wolf down my bottles and spit up all over myself, but please try and keep all public vomiting to a minimum today. 

I'd Really Be Worried If I Had Found Discarded Black Knee Socks...

These items were strewn across our neighbor's doormat at 7:00 AM this morning...

Dollar bill, Blackberry, Parliaments... oh my!

One flight down, I catch these bad boys in the stairwell

Looks like her Grandfather had a wild night!

Things I Hope I Raise My Daughter to Know Better Than To Do...

Today's blog was inspired by the young woman at my bus stop who is wearing flip flops in the middle of February. I noticed this yesterday and thought there must have been some terrible shoe incident that forced her to wear flip flops in freezing weather. I imagined her getting to work (and after warming her feet) telling her co-workers, "You'll never believe what happened to my shoes today!" Now I know she did this on purpose and am left wondering where her common sense is.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T