Lulu, little Lulu, With Freckles on Her Chin

When it comes to workout gear, I tend to look at the Macy's sales rack, Target, and Sierra Trading Post's Bargain Barn. I hate paying full price for workout clothing, except for footwear. Never skimp on running shoes or hiking boots; there, you've been warned. The problem is that I love to shop for workout clothing, and now that I've been attending yoga classes 3-4 times a week I have been exposed to a new wonderful world of colorful and comfortable athletic attire.

I had been admiring a certain high-end yoga inspired clothing line for awhile; however, I couldn't justify paying $90 for a pair of black stretchy pants. Then, a few weeks ago, I noticed that they were looking for part-time work, so I decided to apply. I figured between the store discount and other job perks (free classes) that it would be pretty great, as far as 2nd jobs go. I have worked at Dunkin Donuts, a bagel store, the HoneyBaked Ham Company store (for 1 day... that's another blog post), and about 20 English language schools, but never in retail, so I was mildly surprised when I received an email asking if I could come in for a group interview.

I had been wondering how many people would be in the interview, but there was just one other applicant; a woman in flowing scarves, beaded earrings & a canvas tote. At this point, having come dressed from my day job in a pencil skirt and blouse, I knew I was in trouble.

The store manager took us to a quiet part of the mall and explained that she had a list of questions she wanted to ask and that she hoped we would feel like we were simply getting to know each other. In the end, the more I got to know the other applicant, the more I wanted to strangle her with her thrifted scarf. The conversation went pretty much like this...

Manager (turning to me): So, how do you like to stay healthy?
Me: Well, try to walk as much as possible and not eat too much junk. Also, I exercise on a regular basis. Running, yoga, golf... that sort of thing.
2nd Applicant: Oh, well, my family owns an organic farm north of Boston and I spent a lot of time working on the land. It's a lot of sweat and hard work, but I love it! The farm, by the way, is also a CSA, which is just an incredible way to bring people together!

Manager (again, to me. Somehow, I went first every single time): We encourage our employees to set goals for themselves. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Me: Hmm, well, hopefully my family is healthy and happy. Possibly my husband and I will have a child or 2...
2nd Applicant: OK, so I am applying for a Fulbright and hope to eventually open a cultural center for disadvantaged Boston youth.
Me: Oh... a Fulbright! That's impressive!
2nd Applicant: How old are you?!
Me: Um, I'll be 30 in July.
2nd Applicant: Well, you're too old to apply for one... but it is an excellent opportunity to do some good in the world.

Manager: What was the last book you read?
Me: The 2nd Harry Potter book... I'm re-reading the series.
2nd Applicant: I just finished reading a book written by one of the first female Buddhist monks. It's incredibly fascinating.

Manager: We hope all of our employees are open to giving and receiving feedback. What was the last feedback you received?
At this point, I decided to go for broke.
Me: During yoga class today, while I was in Cobra, my teacher told me to relax my buttocks.
(beat)
2nd Applicant: Hmmm, well last night my boyfriend and I were talking... We try and have at least one meaningful conversation a night... And, anyway, he told me that he's noticed that most of my friendships are based on me reaching out to others in need and that he thinks I should have relationships where there's more equal give and take.

Mercifully, the "conversation" ended soon after that and I went home to re-examine my lifestyle, while applicant number 2 probably went to volunteer at a soup kitchen and then poop a bouquet of roses. Needless to say, I received an email the next day thanking me for my time, but that I wasn't quite the right fit for the job.

A Passing Incident from Today's Yoga Class

I've been attending yoga classes at the BCAE and at my gym since last May. The only positions I know by name are Child's Pose and Warrior II Pose. (I once read that while in Warrior II you're supposed to line up your front arm as if you were shooting arrows into your enemy's heart. I don't have any enemies, so I like to pretend I'm Link from the Legend of Zelda.)

Link in Warrior II

During my noon class today, we were in a pose that started with us bending at the waist and touching our toes. Then we moved our feet to the outside of our hands and crouched down so that our palms were facing the same direction as our feet and our shoulders were pressed into our knees. The next step was to press into the mat with our hands and lift the rest of our body into the air.

"Remember to focus on your breathing. Listen to your breath," my instructor said while impressively holding the pose. All I could hear were small struggling sighs and grunts, as we all tried to levitate our butts in the air. Then, I heard something that wasn't a breath or a determined sigh, but rather like the sound of a motor boat passing by and then fading into the distance. The sound of silence that immediately followed was almost more awkward than the fart itself.

Don'tlaughdon'tlaughdon'tlaughdon'tlaughdon'tlaugh!!!! I repeated to myself, determined not to be the one to burst out laughing and further embarrass the farter. I closed my eyes to try and shut out the scene and desperately focused my attention on my breath.

Then, I slowly opened my eyes and realized that I was in the pose! My feet were off the ground and I was supporting myself in a pose that I had never thought I'd be able to achieve. I'm guessing the farter probably wanted to sink into the mat and die today; however, personally, I'd like to thank whomever it was. Without their boisterous contribution to today's workout, I would not have achieved the success that I did. I award this person a passing grade for today's class!