The Only Thing I'm Married To Is...

Last night Nick's cell rang around 10:30. He was in the shower, so I yelled into the bathroom who was calling. "Answer it!" he said.

"Hi"
"Uh, hello. This is ___ ___. Is Nick there?"
"He's in the shower, that's why I answered."
(beat)
"Oh! Alicia!"
"What? You thought it was some random chick answering Nick's phone at 10:30 on a Wednesday?"
"No... Listen, I have life changing news that I want to share with Nick."
"Are you drunk?" (Nick calls out from the shower, "He's probably sh*tfaced.")
"No, I have LIFE CHANGING news."
"Well, let's hear it."
"It's all been planned out. I liked the tampon story, by the way. 8 days, 8 golf courses, 8 Irish pubs."
"That does sound life changing. I'll have Nick call you when he's out of the shower."
"No! Just tell him now!" Nick, who can hear his laughter that followed that statement, pops his head out of the shower and asks, "Why is he so giddy? Did he get married?"
"Did you get married?"
"Alicia, tell Nick the only thing I'm married to is... epicness!"
(click.)