Knocker Support

So I've volunteered to be a doorknocker for Suzanne Lee's campaign.  Last night I made Nick play the role of homeowner, while I practiced my spiel. 

me: (knocking on door frame)

Nick:  Yes?

me: Hello, as you may know Suzanne Lee-

Nick: Get out of heah!

me: Yes, I will, but perhaps you might just review this pamphlet-

Nick: I don't want your pamphlet!

me: Well, perhaps you might accept this pamphlet... along with these freshly baked cookies!

Nick: (pretends to take imaginary cookies and slams imaginary door.)

me: Thank you for your vote!

This might be more difficult than I imagined.  Perhaps I'll start off with, "I am not trying to recruit you to some bizarre religion, nor am I asking you to buy stale chocolate to support youth football."

Southie Street Festival Moment

Little girls Irish Step Dancing to Dropkick Murphys cover- doesn't get any sweeter than that.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

This photo had me scratching my head for days... and then I realized...

Jo Calderone is really

Lady Gaga paying tribute to Joyce Heyser's

Terry Griffith's male alter-ego

Terry Griffith from the beloved 80's movie, Just One of the Guys.

I feel so much better now.

The Difference Between a Stunod & an A$$hole

I've been commuting to Framingham for my new job for about three weeks now, and I realized there are three kinds of commuters:

1. Those with Fast Lane transponders
2. Stunods.  (Those who commute everyday, yet for some reason, do not have a Fast Lane transponder.)
3. A$$holes.  (Those who commute everyday, don't have Fast Lane, yet drive in the Fast Lane line until the very last second and then try and cut in the front of the Tickets Only line.)

This morning I was driving behind what I would now classify as a #3, if I had to guess what this lady chooses to do.  The rusty mint green Toyota was going about 50 mph and I was about to signal into the left lane to pass her, when I noticed her flick a lit butt out the window and speed up a bit.  Then after about 30 seconds, her car began to swerve as I noticed both of her hands were off the wheel and up around her head.  This stopped after a minute, but then they were right back up in her hair again and she was swerving. 

At this point I decided I needed to get out from behind this crazy person, and got in the left lane.  As I passed her on the left, I took a quick glance and realized that her hands were off the wheel and she was swerving because she was rolling her hair in giant curlers!  As Mr. Bean demonstrated in the episode where he tries to save time by getting dressed and brushing his teeth in the car on the way to the dentist, multi-tasking while driving is pretty dumb and selfish. 

You're BUSted

There's unwritten bus stop etiquette that the first person to arrive gets to stand pretty much in front of where the bus' front door will open. People who arrive after this should line up or at least huddle slightly behind this person. 95% of bus passengers follow this rule. 3% of those who chose to ignore this are either those whom most people would give a sit up for anyway (and therefore deserve to board first) or those who claim to have seen Elvis hanging with Tupac last week (and therefore no one will argue with anyway.) The remaining 2% are those who plant themselves in front of those who have been waiting for the bus the longest. These also tend to be the same people who for some inexplicable reason refuse to climb the two stairs leading to the back of the bus to make room for others who are boarding. If there was a bus patrol (think hallway monitors for the bus) I'd gladly volunteer to write these DBs up.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Some People Shouldn't be Allowed to Own Pets

It's close to 90 degrees out and this ass has his/her dog baking in the heat with the windows roled up. Lexi and I circled the block and the car and the dog were still there. This poor dog's owner should have to sit in a sweltering car wearing a fur coat... Jerk.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to the Main Event! Are you ready to Arrrrchiiiiiive?

My 8 year old self who was a dedicated G.L.O.W. and WWF fan would have loved this job.  The WWE (f/k/a WWF) is currently seeking an Archivist.  The first qualification for this job is an "extensive past and present knowledge of WWE and related entities."  This seemingly large pool of qualified candidates is most likely greatly reduced by the second qualification: "thorough knowledge of records management and archival management principles and methodologies."

So they're looking for someone who remembers the Bushwackers (who licked my brother's shaved head at a WWF event at the Hartford Civic Center!), mourned Macho Man Randy Savage's recent death with one last, "Ohhhhhh yeahhhhh" but also someone who is a trained archivist. 

I hope they find the little girl or boy (now grown) who carefully photographed and catalogued their wrestling action figures and signed event programs!


My favorite: George the Animal Steele & his green tongue!

Thank you to our bus driver!

Today I was the annoying bus passenger with a stroller (car seat attached to it- making it bulkier).  The type of rider the MBTA considered banning.  I had to bring Lexi to daycare on the bus, in her stroller and car seat since we will be taking an Amtrak train later this afternoon to Rhode Island and my mom (who doesn't own a car seat) is picking us up at the station. 

Despite the fact that we took up a lot of space, the driver was exceptionally courteous.  He even got out of his seat to help us on and off and didn't start the bus until he was sure the stroller was secure.  I wish I had thought to see which operator number he was, but since I didn't, a big thank-you to the gentleman driving the Route 7 bus that picked us up at the corner of L and Broadway this morning around 7:35ish!

Once at South Station, we were able to enjoy the stroll to daycare! 

Enjoying the Chinatown Park portion of the Rose Kennedy Greenway

You Such a Dirty Bad Girl... Beep Beep! uh, uh!

There's an ad on Craigslist announcing Bunim-Murray Productions, creators of MTV’s The Real World is casting for the reality show that "brings seven self-proclaimed 'bad girls' together in a beautiful mansion." 

Fame and fortune, here I come!  Please accept my submission for the Bad Girls Club below:

A brief BIO telling us what makes you a “Bad Girl”

Oh man, where do I start?  Well, for starters, I can par-tay.  Nick and I were at a wedding this past weekend, and I burned up the dance floor to "the Twist" "Let's Twist Again" and "I Saw Her Standing There."  And despite the fact that my dogs were barking, I even tried to learn the Dougie (in heels!) 

Currently I am wearing black socks, even though my pants are navy blue.  I've also been known to wear white after Labor Day.  (Shut up, right?!)

I'm a librarian, but my bookshelf is arranged by binding color.

If I fart in a public place, I look around as if searching for someone else to blame.

Despite the fact that it's indisputably the most important meal of the day, occasionally I'll skip breakfast.

Attach several photos
 

My humor isn't for the weak at heart



I am clearly wearing Bling

 

Not afraid to ruin an otherwise great photo



Former saxophone player.  The flute was just too "safe" for me.



Bad-ass ride. 


In sum, I think I would make an excellent addition to The Bad Girls Club.  MTV HMU!  (That's Hit Me Up for those of you not up on your street slang.)

Yeah Baby, yeah!

These fliers are all over Southie these days. Taped on the same poles that advertise the M.O.M. Stroller Workouts. Who knew Southie was such a swingin' place?
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Dumb and Dumber

This morning after grabbing my Dunkin' Iced Coffee, I waved to our building security woman and walked up to the elevator keypad. 
For some reason the button wouldn't light up to signal the elevator was coming down to the lobby.  Only after about a minute of frustration did I realize I was trying to call the elevator by holding my building security pass in front of the button and waiting for it to light...  Amazingly, my frustration ended when I took the more conventional route of pushing it.

This is quite possibly even worse than the time my husband and I went to Lucca in the Back Bay right before Lexi was born.  After perusing the menu, I looked at Nick and said, "Well, I think I'm going to have the 10 and 22."  Confused, he asked what the hell I was talking about. 
"Isn't your menu numbered?" I asked as I pointed to the salad and pasta dishes I wanted to order.  Nick looked at me, and realizing his wife's I.Q. had dropped numerous points over the previous nine months, sadly told me, "Those are the prices!"

:Hey Limoliner, I want my money back

"Please stay seated. If someone hits us, we're going to go flying." -our LimoLiner stewardess

We are stuck in middle of 91 in front of Exit 7 sign as our driver's side luggage hatch flew open. Um, this isn't why I paid $80 for a bus ticket...
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Dear Southie Residents & Visitors,

Happy St. Patrick's Day!  It's my first one!  I am not in a place to judge, because I tend to wolf down my bottles and spit up all over myself, but please try and keep all public vomiting to a minimum today. 

I'd Really Be Worried If I Had Found Discarded Black Knee Socks...

These items were strewn across our neighbor's doormat at 7:00 AM this morning...

Dollar bill, Blackberry, Parliaments... oh my!

One flight down, I catch these bad boys in the stairwell

Looks like her Grandfather had a wild night!

Things I Hope I Raise My Daughter to Know Better Than To Do...

Today's blog was inspired by the young woman at my bus stop who is wearing flip flops in the middle of February. I noticed this yesterday and thought there must have been some terrible shoe incident that forced her to wear flip flops in freezing weather. I imagined her getting to work (and after warming her feet) telling her co-workers, "You'll never believe what happened to my shoes today!" Now I know she did this on purpose and am left wondering where her common sense is.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Microsoft's Red Pen Ran Out of Ink

This is a new one!

Still Better than Snow

Boston.com